Profilectlx.Carlene Tan Li Xuan 11th July 1988. Currently 23+. Studied in St. Anthony's Canossian Primary and Secondary School, SRJC (first 3 months), TPJC, NUS FASS (econs). loves family, friends, chocs, western desserts, yellow, etc etc.
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Monday, March 31, 2008Think today is going to be one of the days that I've felt most nauseated and disgusted.Guess what i just did. Cleared a ROTTEN PUMPKIN from my room shelf. And i mean REALLY ROTTEN. It broke the moment I wanted to lift it up and dump it into the plastic bag. The best part was it was on the top shelf so its juice leaked and started spilling everywhere *faint*. You won't believe the amount of tissue I used. I'm guilty, couldn't think of any alternatives then. Now, i'm scarred for life because my room and my hands reak of pumpkin and i am not exactly a fan of pumpkins at all. The only reason why I have a pumpkin in my room is because my mum told me to bring it. Apparently it helps your studies to become "ding gua gua". I can't exactly describe in words how I feel right now or the whole process of it all cause it can't be put into words. Can't believe my stupidity as to not realise that my pumpkin was actually rotting! The one at home on my sis's table still looks great and healthy. Think my pumpkin is a reflection of my results. Rotten. ARGH! I wonder what's wrong with me or is it that I'm just unlucky. Just feeling tormented. Don't know why. Had a great weekend though, guess that should make up for my misery today. Saturday, March 22, 2008My week:Mon: - sold cheesecake in the morning for ENS bazaar - went out with kr - had lunch at Hog's Breath Cafe at Vivocity (GO TRY!!!!) - e set lunch is really pretty worth it, i hope it stays so more of us can go enjoy. - check out their website at http://www.hogsbreath.com.sg/index.php?option=com_content&task=blogcategory&id=13&Itemid=27!!! ^.^ Tues: - sold Mrs Fields cookies for ENS bazaar - boring rest of the day Fast forward to Thurs: - met SAC 4/7 girls currently in NUS for lunch at engine canteen - was kinda late, really sorry bout that.. =S - met kr for dinner at botak jones at bedok (LOVE THE FISH!!!!) haha... Fri: - had Teppanyaki lunch at Sakae in Century Square cause my dad's really good friend was back from Vietnam for a few days (he's a Singaporean just that he decided to retire in Vietnam). Saw his Vietnamese gf. Amazed. - Headed to Changi Beach Club (got kr along too!! YEAH!!) - Played pool for an hour or so, then headed to KTV room where we sang for 3 hours. - kr said I sounded not too bad cause the mike got "zheng"(however you spell it) which means its been modified to make one sound more resonant. Can't help but agree. Haha.. - Had dinner at Big Eater (again) but the food is good. I personally like it. =) Alright, that's about all.... Now its time to rant again. Have you ever feel conflicted by expectations vs kind-will? Wierd combi? Here's how I got it. I guess expectations are inevitable in a relationship but what happens when you hope these expectations are met but not want to inconvenience the other party? For example, I'm currently home now, a few hours ago, i actually wanted to head down to my house Macs to study. But as you all know, i HATE doing things alone and so I really wanted company. So of course kr was the first thing that came to my mind. Then I thought again, if he goes down, I'll just be wasting his resting time and besides, he has nothing much to do. Thus started my topic of conflict. He said he didn't mind going down with me which I really wanted him to do but I really felt bad if he went down with me cause I'd be narrowing his sleeping hours. Anyhow, we kind of agued a little (can't deny I'm at fault) and I said I think I better start being independent if not find someone else who was willing to study with me. He said "orh, goodnight" and hung up. Hence, I thought he'd be pretty upset and can't sleep. Was wrong BIG TIME. Smsed him awhile later asking if he would accompany me down for a few hours cause I've not showered and didn't intend to until later. Guess what. He was already asleep. HAHA. Stupidity. And here I was worried. ARGH. He did call to ask how long I wanted to stay downstairs but when I heard that tone of voice, I could immediately tell he was asleep, so how can I just pull him out of bed to accompany me while I mug right??? This ends my super summarized story. We argued about a few other stuff before this but I realise its my fault lar, but this sleeping incident is kind of uspetting me. I mean like. ARGGHHHHHHH. I therefore concluded that I think I've watched too much Korean dramas, soooo looking for that kind of fairytale like where I say "its ok" but things still meet my expectations somehow. Guess that's reel life for me. *sigh* Saturday, March 15, 2008I am currently undergoing a strong surge of unpleasant emotions.Basically I'm just ANGRY, DISAPPOINTED, HURT and UPSET. Guess the only person that can make me feel this way is my bf whose currently probably sound asleep OR maybe too engrossed in his PSP. ARGH! Ok, here's the story. Decided to come home with Huiru today from hall, told my bf bout it and he said to call him when I'm reaching (which kind of implies to me that he'd walk me back?? or maybe sms me to make sure I'm ok??). So anyways, I called and called and called but he didn't pick up. Felt kind of sad already, so I smsed to say I'm on the bus on the way back. However, there hasn't been any reply until now. Think with the help of my monthly mood swings, it just gets worse so I smsed him not long ago saying I'm home and that I'm super hurt etc etc and I don't feel like talking to him for the next few days. And I really don't. Guess 1 reason why I was hoping he would come walk me is because I could get to see him since I won't be meeting him this weekend. Plus, it does give some sense of security when you have your partner with you in the middle of the night right?? Especially when you're walking through blocks that are super quiet at night and with funny people walking around... SIGH. Ok, now here's the other side of the story. He's sick lar, so he probably needs the rest and I did say I didn't want him to come walk me cause I rather he rest (which is true) just that I felt he could have at least smsed me to tell me he's going to bed and that I could drop him an sms to tell him I'm home safely. Pretty much gives me the feeling that he cares right? Furthermore, it isn't the first time he's done this. SIGH. K lar, I'm pretty "small gas" right. BUT, I'm still sad, maybe its because I'm starting to recover that chemistry so when anything happens, the effect just seems magnified. SIGH. Whatever the case, just hope he gets well soon. SAD. Haha... thank goodness I get over things fast... should be ok in no time. =) Tata!! |